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11/08/06--03:14: Wednesday, November 08, 2006 (chan 1344786)



 

new update soon i PROMISE <3




11/09/06--16:04: Friday, November 10, 2006 (chan 1344786)

and when i think about you,
i have to remind myself
if he wanted to talk to me he would.




and you don't get upset about it, no not anymore. there's nothing wrong that wasn't wrong before. 



commiting to someone is hard enough
without having to wonder, if they are
even going to be there tomorrow.



december is the darkest
and june is the light,
but this empty bedroom
won't make anything right.
while out on the landing,
a friend I forgot to send home
who waits up for me
all through the night.








im writing again, these letters to you. arent much, i know.
but im not sleeping and you're not here.
the thought stops my heart. do you notice im gone?
where do you run to so far away?
i want you to know that i miss you, i miss you so.






it's cold tonight and
the leaves are scattered
all over the ground.
i miss the seasons,
and the comfort of your smile.








we sat in your car on that chilly fall night,
talking about how much i've grown up,
and how much you've lost yourself.








Whoever said time heals everything, never had this happen.
Time does not heal, but it does make things more tolarable.
Because there is not one hour of the day that goes by that i dont think about you.
And how it used to be.
But over time i have finally learned to deal with the fact that youre not coming back,
And we will never be again.





Just take me there and lie to me
and say it's going to be alright, it's going to be alright.
Yeah, you worry too much kid,
it's going to be alright.




Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate.
Without them, what would shape our lives?
Perhaps if we never veered off course,
We wouldn't fall in love, or have babies,
or be who we are
After all, seasons change. 
So do cities.
People come into your life and people go.
But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart.







I wanna run,
but only far enough to make you miss me
I wanna take back all the shit that I have done
But I guess you were better off without me
I need to start to be myself
Because I'm sick of everybody else
I took one big step and I looked away
And then I thought of all the things that
I wanted to say
I'm always too late
You never got your story straight
I'm always up late
I think I'm everything you hate

  

You gave me wings and made me fly 
You touched my hand I could touch the sky 
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach.






11/18/06--20:38: Sunday, November 19, 2006 (chan 1344786)


She doesnt believe in believing
Miracles have died in her mind
She knows the world is decieving,
Everything is wasting her time.

Why'd it hafta hurt so bad?

 

 




11/21/06--16:40: Wednesday, November 22, 2006 (chan 1344786)









11/23/06--16:23: Friday, November 24, 2006 (chan 1344786)


Probably one of my best posts. <3 read please.













 













 



































 











 


















hahaha thought ide end on a good one ;]





12/16/06--14:29: Saturday, December 16, 2006 (chan 1344786)

You`ve failed many times, although you don`t remember. You fell down the first time you tried to walk. You almost drowned the first time you tried to swim. Don`t worry about failure..worry about the chances you miss when you don`t even try.



the world can be a lonely place without
the one who puts the smile on your face.



The stars are out tonight,
and you’re the brightest one shining in my sky.
It’s like every wish I ever made came true,
the day I woke up lying next to you.
Will you be my best friend
if I offer you my heart?
Cause it’s already yours.



the biggest mistake you can make is to
drift apart from someone you once
had the time of your life with.



Strength is overcome by weakness.
Joy is overcome by pain.
The night is overcome by brightness.
And love,
It remains the same.



pull me to the top of the world, &&
maybe for a minute, I won't worry
about falling. <3



=]]]

old folks sitting in a front porch swing,
holding hands like they were sixteen.
fifty good years;;
they were a lover`s dream.



it was cold. your hands were shaking, & i stepped in front of you just to wrap my arms around you as i said, "let`s pretend winter isn`t here." as you buried your head in my shoulder, you said, "let`s pretend the snow isn`t the only thing falling fast." <3




and sometimes when you're on,
you're really fucking on. and your
friends they sing along, and they
love you. but the lows are so
extreme that the good seems
fucking cheap. and it teases you
for weeks in its absence.



if there's anything to say, if there's anything to do, if there's any other way, i'll do anything for you.



If I could tell you only one thing, it would be to never give up.
Not on anything ; your dreams, your best friend, that girl you never knew ;
cause you never know when that`s gunna be all you`ve got.



I don`t want your boyfriend.
Nobody wants your boyfriend.
That's why he`s with you =]



Chase your dreams but,
always know the road that'll lead you home again.
-Tim McGraw



and I remember you and me,
drawing hearts in the window steam.
holding onto seventeen.
those days ain't ever coming back.
swept away by the winds of change,
time only moves one way.
baby, out of all the things I've had to let go;
I miss you the most.



True strength is being able to hold it all together
When everyone is expecting you to fall apart. <3




DEAR SANTA,
I know it might be a little too late to write you
this, but I`m desperate. I have tried so hard all of
these years to make sure that I was very good,
& I don`t think you`ve been disappointed yet.
So I was writing this letter to kind of ask you
for a favor. This year, I don`t want any of those
silly presents; no Abercrombie jeans or Coach
purses. All I want this year is someone who is
going to love me. Someone who takes time out
of his day just to make sure that I woke up
alright. Or maybe someone who will call me at
3 in the morning just to tell me that he can`t
wait to see me again. I`ve been waiting a long
time for someone special, Santa, & this year
sounds like a good year for him to be mine.
So Santa, if you read this letter & don`t think
you can find anyone, that`s alright. It`s not
like I haven't been disappointed before



Extras;;;
















 


Quote Credits to::: allthebest_QU0TES -amazing siite<3









01/15/07--10:13: Monday, January 15, 2007 (chan 1344786)

getting rid of alll my pictures.























































































































02/24/07--11:52: Saturday, February 24, 2007 (chan 1344786)

sorry for the lack of updates, ivee been busy trying to get someone back into my life :[

getting rid of all my quotes this timmee..

 

and you had an apology in your mailbox since july
it's funny when you find the words to say
and then find no reply...

<3

There are two great days in a persons life
The day we are born
And the day we discover why. <3

<3

 

& i've got my headphones blaring so loud
that it hurts, but i'm beyond caring, because
all im trying to do is forget you.

 

<3

 

Doubt me and i'll prove you wrong.
tell me what to do and ill tell you off
say im not worth it and watch where
i end up. call me a bitch and ill show
you one. screw me over and ill do
it to you twice as bad.

 

<3


And if you have to go then always know
that you shine brighter than anyone does.

 

<3



Have you ever wanted to ask a question
But you didn't because you knew in your heart
That you wouldn't be able to handle the answer?

 

<3



Without you here there is less to say
I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth is
That if I lived 'til I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you



<3



we could be best friends, but we'd still have lust in our eyes.

 

<3


your head in your hands and this is my cue,
if three words could heal you i would only speak two,
your eyelids grow heavy and this is my cue,
if three words could heal you i'd only speak two.

 

<3

 

It's a long, long road,
but I'll always come back to you.
I don't know which way to turn,
but I feel it's the right thing to do.
There's too much for me to learn
but I'll always come back to you.

 

<3

 

when we're together i'm numb
memories of the past flood my mind
i'm incapable of thinking clearly

 

<3

 

you learn alot about people
when you listen to the songs
that mean something to them.

 

<3

 

Make up your mind
I'm falling back to you
After all that we've been through
I can't let go.


<3


one of the hardest things in life
is having words in your heart
that you cannot speak.


<3


do you remember those nights,
when you stayed up just to
talk to me on the phone
until we both fell asleep?



<3

 

"I think we all - I think all of us - want to feel something that we've forgotten or turned our backs on because
maybe we didn't realize how much we were leaving behind.
We need to remember what used to be good.
If we don't, we won't recognize it even if it hits us between the eyes."

 

<3

 

"I mean does the thought of her, the smell of her, the touch of her make you quiver? I mean when she's away from you do you think about her and wish she were in your arms making love to you? When you see her after not seeing her a whole day does she make everything ok?.."

 

<3

 

"..I know Ive made a lot of mistakes, but I dont regret making any of them...because if I hadnt made them I wouldnt have learned how to make things right."

 

<3

 

"I never give up.
I either get what I want or I change my mind"

 

<3

 

"Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of your time."

<3

"Life can only be understood backwards."

<3

"There are too many meadiocor things in life... and love souldn't be one of them"

<3

"I am troubled immensely by your eyes, I am struck by the feather of your soft reply,
The sound of glass speaks quick distain, And conceals what your eyes fight to explain."

 

<3

 

He's just a boy who doesn't know
what's in front of him.
And she's just a girl who never learned
how to let go.

 

<3

 

they still want each other.
they still need each other more than anything in the world.
they're just taking a long time to figure it all out

 

<3

 

but we understand each other,
and we care about each other,
and I believe that years from now...
we still will.

 

<3


I can believe that maybe now
we aren't meant to be,
and a little later on we will be,
only cause it is impossible for me to believe
that I could have
these kinds of feelings after so long,
for someone that  wasn't supposed
to be in my life forever.

 

<3



when we meet again,
we'll probably talk about the weather
cause that's what people do when they grow apart.
and that's what we'll do when we grow apart.




08/21/07--09:41: Tuesday, August 21, 2007 (chan 1344786)



I wish the world was run by love and absolutely nothing more. So I laid down all my pain and got rid of my hate.

I've become a real believer in not defining every single thing. Seems like everytime you think you've figured out what something is, it just becomes something else.



I guess I never loved you quite as well as the way you loved me. I guess I'll never really be able to tell you how sorry I am

You left me before I had a chance to say goodbye, buyt that's the way life usually is - it just passes you by. You can't hold on to regrets and you can't look back, so I'll just be thankful for the times I had with you.



"When I fell to the floor tonight, I was so scared, I was so terrified. Then I saw you and I promise myself that if I could just get up, I'd walk over to you. I'd tell you how much I need you and how much I want you and how nothing else matters."

When you do everything you can, sometimes more than you thought you could, you've got to walk away knowing you fought the good fight.







When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone. When you're sure you've had enough of this life, hang on. Don't let yourself go cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.

I wait for the days when I will forget who you are. When the taste of your name sounds old and worn. I wait for the days when I won't remember why I needed you so bad.



I'm about to see a million things I thought I'd never see before, and I'm about to do all of the things I dreamed of, and I don't even miss you at all.

I think I thought so much about losing you that I never really had you. You spend so much time. You spend so much time when you think you've got all the time in the world.



"Anything for you" is what you told me the day I sat there with you. So I know nothing lasts forever, when will we realize it's gone? "Anything for you" is what you told me the day I sat there with you. Do we understand that words were not enough? You said to me that this would last forever.

I want to thank you. Thank you for always listening to me when I just needed to vent. Thank you for understand what I needed, for being my best friend. And for not giving up on me when everyone else had.



Sometimes I sleep and sometimes it's not for days. The people I meet always go their seperate ways. Sometimes you tell the day by the bottle that you drink and sometimes when you're alone, all you do is think.

Sometimes, no matter how much faith we have, we lose people. But we never forget them. It's those memories that give us the strength to go on.



Empty fields move me so much more than rooms filled up with friends. The way the trees look dead reminds me that there's more to life than living. Maybe giving up isn't bad..

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.



Want to know why I love you? It's cause you loved me, when I didn't love myself. It's cause you held up my beauty for me to see, it's cause you cared for me unconditionally. It's cause the first time in my life, I didn't have to wrok so hard at being happy.

Relax, there is an answer to the darkest times. It's clear we don't understand but the last thing on my mind is to leave you. I believe that we're in this together



Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.

When I turned the page, the corner bent into a perfect dog ear, as if the words knew I'd need them again. But at that time, I couldn't see it.



I've always liked the time before dawn. 'Cause there's no one around to remind me who I'm supposed to be. So it's easier to remember who I am.

I wanted to write you one perfect song to make you cry in your sleep. Kinda like a soundtrack for your dreams, to let you know I'm watching and making sure it turns out alright. I guess I wanted to make you feel something. I wanted to make you feel everything.



The rain seems to trigger something inside of me; a memory that I thought I'd lost forever. A night filled with freedom, long, long age. When I danced the night away in the streets and nobody bothered telling me to come inside. I believe that was the last night I ever truly felt alive.

"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think
it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude
of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a
person."    



And you wonder why so many young children are ending up on the streets. It's because they figure the streets are more peaceful than the yelling and screaming in their homes.

No matter what is said between us, I'm still always going to be here for you, even if you don't realize it. I will stick around for you, I'll be here when ever you need to talk, if things ever go wrong. I will make up excuses for you, for why you don't get in touch, for why you just don't seem to care. But just don't tell me how good your life is, and how you think things will work out for me too. I don't want your pity. I hate your pity.



Sometimes there's nothing to say. Sometimes silence expresses more than words. Picking up the phone, dialing a number, it can do more damage than good. But humans are afflicted with this obsessive desire to talk things to death so we make things worse by trying to make things better.

I think it happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want. And then you realize the people you've known forever don't see the things the way you do. So, you keep the wonderful memories but you'll find yourself moving on.



That night we talked; we talked about life, about our times together. Maybe we aren't the same two kids we once were, but some things never change. Some things last, and even though I didn't know what was going to happen to us or where we were going, I just knew I couldn't let you out of my life.

I'm young. I live in a house that my father owns and I sleep in a bed that my father bought. Nothing is mine except my heart and my fears and my growing knowledge that not every road is going to lead home anymore.



He showed me that you can find good in anybody if you just give them a chance, benefit of the doubt. Sometimes people disappoint you, sometimes they surprise you, but you never really get to know them until you listen to what's in their heart.

I guess that it's typical to cling to memories you'll never get back again and to sort through old photographs of a summer long ago or a friend that you used to know.



So, I just stopped everything - thought about all the things weighing me down. Then I threw out old boxes, emptied my pockets of regrets and love letters, pictures and lockets. And all I have now is the truth that I've found that life has a way of just turning around.

Your voice sets off such a strange feeling. I start to miss you. Even though you're right there, I can't reach out and touch you.



I don't have the heart to hurt you. It's the last thing I wanna do. But I don't have the heart to love you, not the way you want me to.

Is anybody satisfied with who they really are? You could be the moon and still be jealous of the stars. You've got to learn to swim if you can't walk upon the sea. So I'm learning to live with me.



You and I are going to be okay, you know that, right? We may not be as happy as you always dreamed. We would be, but for the first time, let's just allow oursleves to be whatever it is we are. And that'll be better, okay? I think it'll be better.

Sometimes apologies don't mean a thing. Like four in the morning when you're in bed sleeping. You don't need a phone conversation to wake you up, to bring you down. Cause when it's over, we both know.



I give thanks to everyone whoever loved you. I give thanks to everyone who you've ever loved. I give thanks to the millions of moments that made you who you are.


You can't go back, only remember. Remember how we used to be, how our relationships used to be, how we used to love each other. And how the things we both said replay in my mind over and over again. There's nothing more I can do now but move on.



I'll just speak these two next lines all soft and slow so you can let them sink in: The difference between us, my friends, I can see it in your eyes: you're glad that you're not dead yet and I'm just happy to be alive.

It was quiet in the car so it made me think of you. So I turned on the radio and my favorite song was playing but it made me think of you. So I turned it off and looked out the windows and watched it rain and it made me think of you. The truth is, sometimes I miss you so bad it hurts.



We're all looking for a peaceful and safe place. But maybe there is no such place. But we keep going no matter what's waiting for us down the road. We don't stop living.

Let's be happy with what we have. Enjoy the beauty in these days. Sometimes we'll laugh. Sometimes we'll scream. No one said caring would be easy.



 




11/14/07--15:32: Wednesday, November 14, 2007 (chan 1344786)

Havent updated in like a year. haha
sorry :( ill start updating more often,
hope you likee <3

 

 



 

And this feels so far from real.
I'm lost and I love it.                                            
I am ready to tell the world about a boy
who showed me love again for the first time.
And it's everything I dreamed of



You may feel alone when you're falling asleep and everytime tears rolls down your cheeks. But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet. Someday you will be loved.



Yes, it would have been wonderful to have grown old together, but that doesn't mean I regret the time we spent together. Loving someone & having them love you back is the most precious thing in the world. It's what made it possible for me to move on, but you don't seem to realize that. Even when love is right infront of you, you choose to turn away from it. You're alone because you want to be.



What drives you on can drive you mad. A million lies to sell yourself is all you ever had. Don't believe in love. Don't believe in hate. Don't believe in anything.



Too often, we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.




There were moments i would blame everything on everyone else, and I would get no answers.
But its 'cause i was asking the wrong questions.  You have to ask the right questions.
"Like what?"
"Has anything you've done made someone's life better?"



talking shit about a pretty sunset.
blanketing opinions that ill probably regret soon.
ive changed my mind so much i cant even trust it.
my mind changed me so much i cant even trust myself.



Sometimes we fight about who's wrong and right. And stay up all night and sometimes we drink and say hurtful things that we don't mean. Yeah, we're both screamin' but nobody's listening. Let's take this madness out of the kitchen. Come to bed, lets just lay down. There's just one way we're gonna work this out. Forget what I did, forget what you said.



Sometimes the worst of us come out at the most unscene times.
But we learn to move on. and forget our regrets and you help
me find my courage at times. Its going to be a
lonely winter without my body in your sweatshirt,
and without being able to call you mine.



Of all the things I question in life, I have one answer in my mind. What you need is that one person who keeps you going, that one person who manages to take all the pain away. It amazes me that the one person who stays with you through everything, makes you forget all about the others who didn't; a single soul out of the billions in the world can make you feel like you are the world to me. Life is only worth living if there is someone worth living for. You need that someone who fills the empty space in your heart, someone who lets you know you're so much more than enough. I hope everyone finds that someone who makes their days worthwhile and I thank God you're that person to me.



while you were sleeping i figured out everything,
i was constructed for you, and you were molded for me.
now i feel your name, coursing through my veins.
you shine so bright it's insane, you put the sun to shame.



I saw you today and realized how far apart we've grown. I know I should talk to you, and ask how you're doing and I really wish I could. But it just occured to me that we're strangers now. You don't know me anymore, much less want to, and it's okay, you've moved on, I know that everything's different now



I gaze out the window..
This cold winter's night
At all of the twinkling lights
Alone in the darkness
Remembering when you were mine
Everybody's smiling
The whole world is rejoicing
And everyone's embracing
Except for you and I



do you ever just get that feeling where
 you  dont  want  to talk to  anybody  you
 dont want to smile and you dont want to
 fake being happy  but  at  the  same time
 you  dont  know exactly whats wrong



And there has always been laughing, crying, birth, and dying
Boys and girls with hearts that take and give and break
And heal and grow and recreate and raise and nurture
But then hurt from time to times like these




"at the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. so this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. so we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. no matter how much we hurt them. the people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. and sure, sometimes close can be too close. but sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need."




Don't you hate it when you sweat
& your legs are going numb
Then you get that feeling of regret
& it makes you wanna run.



I looked out the car window today and I'm realizing that I miss you again, it's funny how out of nowhere you came to mind. The truth is, I wish you were still here.



And instantly, I feel so complete. It hits me right about the time you kiss my cheek and you give me this feeling, it's like no other feeling. But it knocks me off my feet. Please don't ask me what I like about you cause it's every little thing you do. And that's just the way you make me feel.



When I called you telling you how much I missed you and you said you couldn't love me anymore. I had the tough task of learning how to be me again. For so long, it had been me and you, we and us. So I threw myself at every guy possible. I was either trying to find what I had again or trying to make you see how much you really needed me, so you would come back and we could have that again. In this whole process, I realized, when two people are together, they are considered a whole. And the hardest part of breaking up is becoming a half again.